Jessica was determined to keep it real, that's why she chose Motel 6."
For sure there's nothing more real than cavorting on eighty-count, grayed-out sheets dotted with stains that won't wash out.
In case you've been distracted by the antics of other American Idol graduates, Jessica Sierra is the common-looking singer—like that really narrows it down—who shot to fame after she was the third contestant eliminated from American Idol 2005.
Ms. Sierra has been a busy little beaver in the meantime. She's been stalked by a loser with three-and-a-half teeth; she's been arrested for bouncing a leaded cocktail glass off a man's head in a Florida bar; she's been in and out of rehab; and she's presently in jail awaiting a December 20 hearing on charges that she violated the terms of the probation she got for bouncing the glass off that sack of shit's head in the bar.
Ms. Sierra's most recent transgressions include public drunkenness, vomiting in the back of a patrol car, making terroristic treats at a police woman, offering to fell ate the policewoman's partner if he agreed to forget the whole thing, then repeatedly calling him a [negro] after he had turned her down.
Perhaps if she had made her sporting offer before blowing chunks all over the inside of the police cruiser, the fuzz might have overlooked the herpes sores that dot her muzzle like chocolate chips in a Toll House cookie, but add a few half-digested deviled eggs to that equation, and you've got a definite no sale.
While Ms. Sierra, 22, has been busy as a beaver, her beaver hasn't exactly been sitting around idle, as the Motel 6 tape will soon reveal.
Also featured in the tape are a woman who bears more than a passing resemblance to Paula Abdul and two men—one of whom is a dead-ringer for Simon Cowell; the other could pass for Randy Jackson a hundred pounds ago.
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